Happiness

We had a garage sale yesterday. Many of Divina's little things went away to another home. It was sad going through her clothes deciding which to keep (for the next one) and which to pass on. I couldn't have imagined the nostalgia I would experience as I held up each item, turning it over and over. I'd look at it, sigh, fold it, and gently place it in the pile with a little pat "good-bye pants," "good-bye onesie," "good-bye purple jammies." Well, they are all gone now and we are $140 richer. Of course, we went to the OCB for lunch with our earnings!

A friend of mine asked me how being a stay home mom is treating me. I told her that I don't miss work at all...not at all! She then asked me a very interesting question. She said that she has noticed about me (these are her thoughts, not mine) that I seem to have an incredible self-esteem, that my not missing work demonstrates that I don't put my self-worth in my employment/job. She wanted to know my "secret" to self-esteem which is not dependent on employment/job.

Here is how I responded: I wouldn't say that self-esteem or self-worth are great concerns of mine. I don't give it much thought. I suppose I used to. These days I am more focused on enjoying life and those around me. I read in a book recently that a student of the Dali Lama asked him what the purpose of life is. He responded saying something to the effect that the purpose of life is to be happy and help others be happy. This makes a great deal of sense to me. People sometimes have a way of denying themselves happiness because they think that if they are suffering then someone else will receive the happiness they are sacrificing. It's as if there is a limited amount of happiness in the world and they would be greedy to hog it all. This is ridiculous. No amount of saddness or depression or frugility-in-joy will benefit another person. However, emotions are contagious. If you are sad, those around you will be sad. If you are happy, those around you will be happy. I guess I don't miss working because I see that my being less stressed, more energized, and more fun has and will benefit my husband, my daughter, and expescially myself.