I don't know where to begin. Divina is developing some very bad behaviors and I've been struggling to handle her (and me). Divina demands attention all the time, rarely playing by herself. If she receives any sort of "no" or suggestion that she play by herself, she immediately has a huge tantrum. But it's not just throwing herself on the floor. She screeches repeatedly, like a siren, hits things (usually me), scratches things (usually me), kicks, bites, throws, and a new trick, spits. She attacks me.
Now I believe in non-violent parenting, but I have resorted to spanking her a few times. I just don't know what else to do. Dr. Petersen, who taught the parenting class I just took, suggests I ignore the offending behavior. He says after three days, she won't be doing it anymore. Right. Just when I think things are getting better, here she comes with a new trick added to the show.
Yesterday at breakfast, I was sitting at the table with her while we ate our breakfast. The TV was on and I was looking at it. She was just eating her breakfast. I turned to look at her and she's holding out her grape juice and, looking right at me, just pours it on the floor. I took the glass, and her plate for fear that was next, and placed them on the other side of the table. She began her protest so I guided her up to her room where she was to stay for a few minutes. She went right into screaming, hitting, the whole show. That went on for about 45 minutes.
Last night at dinner, she squashed her veggie wrap, then pushed all her spaghetti onto the table. Up to her room we went and the show began. She made her way downstairs and chose a cherry yogurt from the fridge. Mark and I were pretty calm, knowing that she was tired and hungry. Mark opened the yogurt for her and was very nice. She refused to eat. So I took the spoon and playfully sang a little song to coax her to eat. She accepted the spoonful, closed her mouth, then sort of spit (or drooled) out the yogurt onto her shirt. After that there was much screaming, banging on the bedroom door, throwing stuff around her room, and calling me "stupid girl." That's her big guns. She says "stupid girl" over and over again in hopes to press some button for me. I do my best to ignore her. Oh, and she started with the light switch, off/on/off/on. I just stood there and smiled saying "flashy, flashy", doesn't bother me.
An hour later, maybe longer, she calmed down enough for me to rock her to sleep. I did spank her once. I tried to make her stay in her room. I also tried to talk to her, "Sweetie, what's going on with you? Why are you so angry?" She said it was because her friend was mean to her earlier in the day. We talked about that. Still she had some more tantruming to do after that.
I'm so tired of this. Mark is ready to spank her, too. Most people I know just can't believe she behaves like this. I'm getting my video camera ready. I also have an appointment with my doctor to talk about starting Zoloft (for me).
Friday, October 24, 2008
The Experiment
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2 comments:
Oh how I thought something was wrong with my child. Christopher gave me hell when he was going a similar stage. I did resort to spanking but that didn't work. Plus the slightest thing shows up red on his behind and I wanted no trouble so I stopped....for the moment.
His new thing also is "Stupid" and he told Alyssa a few days ago, to "Shut up stupid" I will not tolerate it because what he hears at home he will take to school and viceversa. I sent him screaming to his room. I have noticed though that when we ignore him he stops the nonsense quicker but in no way had it ended in 3 days. I know our kids are not abnormal so why isn't that working?
I asked him where he heard that word and he says, I don't know. I know he is lying. We are so careful around here with what we say. I guess it's not as bad as other words but when he told her that it sounded terrible.
He still has his moments but it doesn't bother me half as much, these days but who is to say that wouldn't change. Maybe I am just too tired. Testing boundaries they say...whatever. My new rule in this house is that all screaming can be done in your room, not downstairs in the family area. This mess has to stop...
Okay that should read what he does at home not hears because we sure as heck don't talk like that around here. Although I've heard the neighbor say that to his sons.
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