Good Night

Good night. It's almost 4am and I'm awake, awake, awake. There is a loop running over and over in my mind that won't let me sleep. I worry so much about the goings on of the day, especially work. There are so many things to rememer. It makes me wonder what will keep me up at night when I'm a stay-home-mom. That job starts on Monday. Divina's daycare is closed on Monday in observance of Independence Day. As if those people would actually want a day away from my beautiful child. What are they thinking? I would think they would want to keep her even on Saturdays. Some people...you never know.

Daycare - $188 a week. There's one expense we won't have when I'm home. We planned to keep her in daycare for one day a week - $42, but now it's not within our budget. Apparently, they reassesed our property taxes and foudn that we just have too much money wasting away in our savings, so they increased our taxes. Our mortgage payments (including escrow for the taxes) will now be forty percent higher than before. No joke. On top of this we will be paying our health insurance from Mark's income (it was through mine before). This does not boad well for my plan to redecorate the house, give hundreds of dollars to charity, buy a new wardrobe, and enroll Divina in Gymbore. No sir. This is not good news at all.

I've been giving some thought to my non-opinion challenge for this weekend. How does one conversate without giving one's thoughts and opinions? Perhaps the key is to continually prob the conversee for interesting things. Surely everyone has an worth while story. I should approach everyone with the idea that they have something important to teach me. Ah, yes, I will go splunking. Every mind has dark, enticing crevices and nooks just waiting to be explored. I shall buy a flashlight hat and rubber shoes...oh, wait, huge mortgage payment...I shall bring my old, batteries-dying, household flashlight and my sticky socks and climb inside the psyches of unsuspecting passers-by. I will learn their secrets and their desires. I will discover the meaning of live itself!...alas, I learned that last week...I will learn the answer to a greater mystery: why doesn't Burt's Bees make mascara?

With that to ponder, I go back to bed.