There are three things about me you need to know today:

1. Recently I've been experimenting with something I call "no expectations." This is a branch of the Buddhist principle of non-attachment. I find it's best to let go of your expectations...to let go of your attachement to what you would like to happen. This becomes a necessity when spending day after day with a two year old. Rarely do things go exactly as planned. Here's how it works: You wake to greet your day with some idea of what you need to get done or things you need to do. Things happen and you don't get to do those things. Instead of being angry or disappointed, if you greet your day with no expectations you open your mind to embrace the things that happen unexpectedly. So many times we miss out on the great things in life because we were busy trying to do something else. Here is an example: I wanted to take my family to a Kite Expo last weekend. It was called off because of rain (it didn't rain, by the way). Because I let go of it, we had a great time at the nearby playground, then we went looking for lunch. We (Mark, really) found this BBQ place that I wasn't interested in at first, but I decided to ride life instead of drive life, and we had the BEST BBQ chicken I've ever had! It's now among my favorite places.

2. Most of the time my child is a joy to be with. But there are times. There are times when she stomps her feet, screams for no apparent reason, or a riddiculous reason...yesterday she was angry because her new Fisher Price shopping cart didn't have any batteries, it's not an electronic toy, no batteries...and she hits me, bites me, and screams. What the hell is that about? It's a wonder to me that so many people survived toddlerhood. I mean the urge to knock this kid out is powerful. But we don't. Parents manange to control themselves. It's hard to remove yourself from a situation like this and not take it personally. It really seems like the kid is deliberately trying to drive you insane. There are differing camps as to how to handle these situations. Some people believe in spanking, yelling, and punishment. Some people believe in ignoring the child by leaving the room or turning their backs. I am of the camp which believes in helping the child down. If I have it in me (which isn't always, but most of the time) I sit down by her, talk calmly, hold her, reassure her, and affirm her anger or disappointment. In this way she knows I still love her (childrens worst fear is that their parents don't love them which is why ignoring them only makes them feel worse) and that I can and will help her through it. This is probably the hardest method for handling tantrums for parents. It requires letting go (see no-expectations above) and setting aside your own feelings. This is a good lesson for anyone, not just parents.

3. Here is the third thing you should know about me today. I'm going to be in the PUUF Chili Cook-Off this Sunday! I hope. I haven't talked to the coordinator yet. So I make this really good chili. I'm thinking of calling it something like "Lamar Street Midwestern Mild Chili" or "Sister Comfort's Midwestern Mild Chili." I learned to make this stuff from my sister, Ann, but I've tweaked it some over the years. Everyone whose had it says how good it is, mild yet satisfying. I'd like to give a nod to my Indiana roots, too. Lamar Street is the street I grew up on. This chili is best on autumn or winter evenings after a day of hard work shoveling, skiing, playing, or otherwise exhausting yourself in the cold. Here's the recipie: 2 cans Bush's chili beans, 1 can kidney beans, 1 can corn, 2 cans diced tomatoes (get the chili ready kind or you'll have to add chili powder as you like), 1 pound hamburger. Put it all together and eat as soon as hot, best on the second day though. I'm going to attempt this tonight without the hamburger to make it vegetarian. Might not be so good, but no expectations, right? Also, I don't think anyone in the competition needs to know I use all canned ingredients. Got it?