My child is a genius.

What? Of course I mean that. This kid is smart. It's says right here in "What to expect in the Toddler Years" that a two year old should be able to make two word sentances. Pfft. My kid makes all sorts of sentances. She can say things like "Mark, don't teach her that" after she makes burping noises. And she knows shapes. Her favorite is the triangelo. That's right, triangelo. Clearly, she's into Italian geometry. She's inspired by the Discovery and National Geographic channels. For example, she must have seen how some people wash themselves with mud. Today she stood in the middle of the playground and quite deliberatley placed several handfuls of sand directly on her head. Now most parents might see this act an act of toddler defiance, but I can recognize experimental anthropology when I see it. She's quite skilled with cosmetics, too. Observe photo above. The evidence is clear, my child will one day receive a Nobel Prize.